Fan Fiction
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Witchcraft – (Chapter: What are the odds?)
Willow is feeling depressed since Oz left her and Sunnydale.
ONE MONTH LATER – College residence – in the bedroom
Buffy : You shouldn’t bring yourself down like this… It ain’t fair… You deserve to be happy.
Willow : Happy? Happy is a word that will never be part of my vocabulary again…
Buffy : Why? You’ve always been the happy one around here! I know how you feel… I’ve been there.
Willow : How am I supposed to be happy when all my world just collapsed because of me?
Buffy : Don’t say that… It’s not true. Anyway I have to go, I’ll be late for class… You coming?
Willow : I’ll fresh up a little bit first, my class starts at 11am today…
Buffy : Okay, but don’t miss it, it’s the last week before your exam!
Willow : Humm…Humm…
Buffy walks away from the room. While walking towards the door she notices that Willow started crying again.
Willow is now alone and talks to her self.
I’ll never look, talk or date a guy ever again. Why Oz? I could’ve been by your side to help you… I wanted to help you… Giles is there too! He’s more powerful than me and understands your condition perfectly…
Willow cries even more…
She gets out of bed and grabs some clothes and her shower kit and goes to the bathroom. There, she takes a good look at herself in the mirror to see what she looks like… ***** is the first word that come to her mind. She laughs at the word "*****". Since she met Buffy, she’s been fighting demons.
Once she’s done showering and freshing up, she leaves the bathroom. She opens and closes the door. When she turns around she’s been rushed into by a girl that is in a hurry.
"Can’t you watch where you’re going?" a voice asks Willow.
Willow : I’m sorry. And Willow walks towards her room looking at the floor.
The other girl is bending over to pick up her books and stuff. And she finally take a look to the dumb person that just walked in her.
Willow had already entered in her room. The only thing that Tara saw was the back of Willow, her red hair, her shoulders, her ***** and her legs…
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I was a huge fan of Buffy and even more of Willow and Tara. I’m really happy that you decide to write on them. I really like it .. and I have the best place to get it first!! ;P
No offense, but I guess I am just more into cannon stories then most……….*shrug*……..and I don’t want you to think this is a slam against you and your writing, I am just trying to critique and give honest/helpful critism:
#1-You might want to seperate Dialogue with approstevies (sorry, my spelling sucks, you can go “critique” my stuff, it’ll be interesting) and make clear whose speaking and how they are feeling at the time they are speaking.
#2-The same-time emotions of the dialouge would help immmensely with the readability of your story.
#3-Your storytelling ability is excellent, the readability of it is what needs to help with the flow and to keep your readers/audience.
#4-I see great potential for this story and you as a writer. Dream big and go far! =}